Inventing the Abbotts (1997)

They say “necessity is the mother of invention” which may explain why we find the hot mamas in Inventing the Abbotts (1997) necessary for our own private spank banks. Set in a small Illinois town in the 1950s, the R rated film centers around two families. The lower-class Holt brothers, John Charles “J.C.” (Billy Crudup) and Doug (Joaquin Phoenix), are after the well-to-do sisters Pamela (Liv Tyler) and Eleanor (Jennifer Connelly) Abbott. Yeah, the boys can’t really go wrong there. Ms. Tyler plays the classy, aloof one and Ms. Connelly is the sexy, wild one. Suffice it to say, the brothers have a hard time figuring out which one they prefer. Unfortunately, Liv doesn’t let us see her piece in this period piece but when Jen cavorts with Billy, Joaquin watches the skintastic act. As such, he (and we) get to see her big beautiful breast! No doubt, this coming of age story will have viewers coming. Later, the sexy brunette flashes her can while doing it in a darkly-lit scene. Hurry, put a light on! Unfortunately, Billy’s character has revenge on his mind and simply wants to stick it to the Abbott family by literally “sticking it to” the Abbott girls. Luckily, his sibling has more genuine feelings in his heart. Then a wild card enters the mix in the form of the Abbotts’ divorced oldest sis Alice (Joanna Going). Bullet brassieres and old school skivvies abound in this retro-set drama. In other words, it offers eye candy that licks back!