Jesus I Was Evil (2020)

Make sure you use a comma and read the "I" in the title of Jesus, I Was Evil (2020) because otherwise the makers of this film would be opening themselves up to a world of protest from the Christians of the world. This micro-budget horror comedy makes up for its spare budget with a wealth of charm and character. Martha (Melissa Crossland) and Amber (Airisa Durand) are a pair of sheltered Mormon missionaries, arrive in a sinful and vice riddled metropolis to perform their mission work. Their sheltered upbringing has not properly prepared them for this culture shock, but thankfully the lord—not sure if we're talking Elohim in this instance since they're Mormon, but let's go with that—speaks to the girls and tells them that it's okay to break a few commandments in order to rid this city of sinners. The girls then embark on a killing spree, emboldened by the word of their lord and fully ready to unleash to full wrath of 18 years of pent up sexual frustration on unsuspecting average folks. An Amazon customer gave the film five stars in February of 2020 and described it as John Waters meets "The Book of Mormon," and while that's a very gracious stretch, it does indeed have that same ultra low budget aesthetic that Waters' early work most certainly has in abundance. Sadly, we can't give it more than one star because the flick doesn't care about sex as much as it does violence, though co-lead Melissa Crossland does show some cleavage in her bra after banging an especially hairy guy! Jesus, it was evil to tease us like that!